Blue Gargantua (bluegargantua) wrote,
Blue Gargantua

But Your Honor...

...I did all those things in order to clear my name of that one murder which I totally didn't do. Yes, I may have recklessly endangered the lives of innocent civilians including a busload of school kids. Yes, I may have caused a great deal of property damage. Yes, I may have totaled several cop cars and the police officers inside of them. But movie physics means everyone walked away with, at most, minor cuts and bruises that would heal over by the next scene. And in the end, Your Honor, I totally proved I wasn't responsible for that one kid's death. Surely these minor inconveniences I am accused of causing pales in comparison to bringing the truth to light."

"You make a solid point, Mr. Marshall, however the public does have a compelling interest to stop these illegal street races. The court is prepared to offer clemency if you will testify against the organizers of this event."

"Your Honor, the event those people produced was a key component of my redemption/revenge arc. If I didn't have a chance to beat my rival in a race, it would've been a miscarriage of dramatic justice."

"I admire your integrity, Mr. Marshall, but we must maintain some semblance of authority. We hereby sentence you to a year in jail and your driver's license is permanently revoked."

"How about six months and I keep my license?"

"OK, fine."

In other news, Need for Speed is a terrible movie, but a lot of cars go very fast and do their own stunts.

Tags: movies
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